I became a counsellor because I found out, through my own experience, that this type of psychotherapy works. The realisation of all the benefits that counselling had brought to my life, made me think that this could be helpful to many people who have had similar life experiences as mine.
I was always a very insecure, frightened person. I did not know where this came from and why I acted that way. If I were to go to a meeting with someone important like a manager or director of a company, I would be so frightened that I would visibly shake like a leaf. Interviews or driving tests were very scary experiences. I failed to pass my driving test three times as well as countless interviews. I was a shy extrovert. What I mean by this is that, to my friends and family, I was quite outgoing. I loved performing on the stage as a boy and as a young man. I still do, but I have not been able to do this for a long time. Life got in the way of my performing dreams.
I knew there was something wrong with the way I felt inside of me, but I did not know how to deal with those feelings. I did not understand many of those feelings and some others I could not even identify because I did not know what those feelings were. I thought I just had to put up with it and grow out of it. When I started drinking and going out I felt so free and comfortable, my outgoing personality would be more prominent. As time passed, my behaviour worsened and it became harder for me to ignore my state of mind.
I had to do something about it in order to save my marriage and myself. I started seeing a counsellor, I unloaded all the pent-up emotions from my past. I started to remember my previous experiences. I started to understand my self. I started to accept myself and I started to have a very personal relationship with me as the man I am. My relationship with my ex-wife did not survive, but I saved myself and I started a new phase in my life.
What counselling has done for me is, it has taught me how to have that special relationship with myself. It has allowed me to unravel and untangle the traumatic experiences of my past. This allowed me to understand how those experiences had affected my life, my personality, my behaviour, my way of thinking, my self image and my own beliefs. Counselling helped to find the courage to face my fears, to be honest with myself and accept behaviours and parts of my personality that were difficult to face. However, I was also able to discover my good qualities, my strengths and to have a vision of how to become the best person I could be. The best version of myself. It is a journey of self discovery that will bring endless rewards when it is done honestly.
My journey is a work in progress that I enjoy everyday. It is having a relationship with your best friend and giving that person the love, understanding, acceptance and support they need. The only thing is that, that person, is me. What I have come to understand is that once I can give all those positive values and principles to myself, it is easier to offer them to someone else.
